As many people can maybe probably tell, I am a big fan of IQ tests. I think they are the most logical tests in the world, and how smart you are can definately be summed up by a few questions about unrelated nothingness. Now, I don't know if you realised, but I was being sarcastic, IQ tests test nothing but how much time you feel like wasting doing one. But, all is good, because I have devised my own IQ tests to beat all IQ tests. Answer the questions (Multiple choice) and take down oyur answers, and check them against the correct answers in the comments on this blog post. Now you will see what your real IQ is.
Question 1:
How many characters have I typed in this post so far?
A- 256
B - 196
C - 336
D- Can't be bothered counting.
Question 2:
Which, of the following, is the closest in relation to a Pangolin?
A- A tape worm
B- A tapier
C- Measuring tape
D - A farmer's hat
Question 3:
How many questions are there in this quiz?
A- One
B- Three
C- Five
D- Alfragooglewak
Question 4:
Which of the following characters has not appeared in a poem on my magnificent blog?
A- Fred
B- Xark
C- Bob
D- Alfragooglewak
Question 5:
How many of this quiz's correct answers are "C"?
A-None
B- Four
C- Three
D- Alfragooglewak
Now, read the comments, add up your score, then read the section relating to you.
PEOPLE WHO SCORED 5/5:
You are very intellectual. You should be in a hospital earning a high revenue, since you attained an ENTER score of above 99.95 in High School, and spent you University time studying Medicine. Congratulations on earning such a high IQ score. Your IQ is 250.
IF YOU SCORED 4/5 FOR THIS TEST:
You are fairly smart. But why did you get that fifth question wrong? You got it wrong because you are not as good as everybody else. Go and sit in a corner and think about what you have done. Out of interest, which question was it that you got wrong? Because if it was question 5, that is terrible. That was the easiest question of them all! Your IQ is 50.
READ THIS IF YOU GOT THREE ANSWERS RIGHT:
Hi! Thankyou for doing this test. Please, now, return to you class and learn your times tables a bit better. Ok? You should not be wasting this time reading blogs when you clearly need to get a bit more cleverer. You got an IQ score of 5.
GOT TWO ANSWERS CORRECT? CLICK HERE FOR A FREE HOLIDAY TO FIJI!
You clicked on the title, didn't you? Yes, you did. I think it is time for you to take a good look at your life. You only got two right, that's less than half! Go and buy some ice cream and have some fun with your friends for a while. You deserve the break, as you must have worked very hard to read the questions of this test. You have an IQ of 1.09 x 10^-519. Sorry if you cannot understand that number.
GET ONE RIGHT?
Yay! You get right! You could smart, but you not get much right. Hard test. Hope done more good next time. Let be friend. You want be friend, too? You get eye and koo for zero.
Notice for parents: DID YOUR SON/DAUGHTER GET NO ANSWERS CORRECT?
This is a problem. This is a big problem. You have done a great job of parenting! (That was rather sarcastic) Unfortunately, your child has an IQ of negative five billion, and you should let them know that their ideal profession when they get older will be a chicken trainer.
Sorry if, in any way, your score has insulted you. Maybe next time you will get a 5/5 and feel better.
Showing posts with label Vaguely Humorous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vaguely Humorous. Show all posts
Monday, October 22, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Alphabentance
A Bad Crocodile Didn't Eat Fruit, Get How In Jail, Kate Lent Monopoly Non-Oblong Pieces, Quickly Rewarding Stupid Tabatha Under Veils With Xylophones Yelling "Zebra"?
...Awesome. No, I am not bored right now, don't be ridiculous.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Schoolface
Now that school is coming to a close for me, I am realising a lot within the system of school (or at least my school) that is rather stupid, and I hadn't realised before. Maybe I had realised these things earlier, but that is not important.
Firstly, why does everybody in school write with blue pens? How ridonculous. Why don't they publish novels with blue ink? Because blue is a stupid colour to have text in, which makes blue pens seem all the more a waste of pigment. Black pens, on the other hand, or white pens, they are smart. Use them. Now.
Why do we have to wear school uniforms, like blazers and what not, which are quite formal, while teachers can wear jeans? Unfair unfair unfair. And if we are meant to be learning, in school, how to live and survive in the outside world, why are we not learning about how to dress in the outside world? Are they really teaching us to dress in blazers and shorts with mismatched colours sprinkled all over them?
Why do some teachers only want to talk about maths, or English or physics, I am sure there are much mroe interesting things they would rather talk about, like how their day has been, and why they are wearing jeans instead of short shorts and knee-high socks.
When analysing written material in English, why do we always assume the writer put meaning into every single word they churn out? I'm sure, just once in a blue moon, they put a word into their writing because it fits in a sentance, or because it is just there. Let's analyse what I just said. I used the word: "Single" before, meaning I am subliminally telling the reader that the words used by writers (which are rather professional words) are single, and not married, which means I am addressing the global issue of professionalism vs. happiness in life. How stupid. I did not mean that, I said single because it means "single". Stupidhead.
Why does our entire school life get summed up by the exams at the end of year 12? Because people are lazy, and cannot be bothered looking back on how we went in previous years, that's why. And also because year 12 is the year before university, and the ENTER score gets you into university. This means they should have scores to transfer to the next level, like a STAY score in year 9, where if you get really high, you can go to a better school for year 10, or if you get low, they send you to Poowong West Primary School for the rest of your life.
Schools are also all about promoting individuality, and bringing out the best of each individual person, and meeting their individual needs. They are so much into individuality and the difference of each student, that they call me by my new, and very individual name: 85344413T.
School is ridiculous, in many ways. But I love it. I may die next year, without school. But we will see.
Firstly, why does everybody in school write with blue pens? How ridonculous. Why don't they publish novels with blue ink? Because blue is a stupid colour to have text in, which makes blue pens seem all the more a waste of pigment. Black pens, on the other hand, or white pens, they are smart. Use them. Now.
Why do we have to wear school uniforms, like blazers and what not, which are quite formal, while teachers can wear jeans? Unfair unfair unfair. And if we are meant to be learning, in school, how to live and survive in the outside world, why are we not learning about how to dress in the outside world? Are they really teaching us to dress in blazers and shorts with mismatched colours sprinkled all over them?
Why do some teachers only want to talk about maths, or English or physics, I am sure there are much mroe interesting things they would rather talk about, like how their day has been, and why they are wearing jeans instead of short shorts and knee-high socks.
When analysing written material in English, why do we always assume the writer put meaning into every single word they churn out? I'm sure, just once in a blue moon, they put a word into their writing because it fits in a sentance, or because it is just there. Let's analyse what I just said. I used the word: "Single" before, meaning I am subliminally telling the reader that the words used by writers (which are rather professional words) are single, and not married, which means I am addressing the global issue of professionalism vs. happiness in life. How stupid. I did not mean that, I said single because it means "single". Stupidhead.
Why does our entire school life get summed up by the exams at the end of year 12? Because people are lazy, and cannot be bothered looking back on how we went in previous years, that's why. And also because year 12 is the year before university, and the ENTER score gets you into university. This means they should have scores to transfer to the next level, like a STAY score in year 9, where if you get really high, you can go to a better school for year 10, or if you get low, they send you to Poowong West Primary School for the rest of your life.
Schools are also all about promoting individuality, and bringing out the best of each individual person, and meeting their individual needs. They are so much into individuality and the difference of each student, that they call me by my new, and very individual name: 85344413T.
School is ridiculous, in many ways. But I love it. I may die next year, without school. But we will see.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Very Short Post
Wow, how short is this post? I thought I would write a short post, once. And now it is finished.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Tulisan Istimewa
Pembaca yth.
Aku sudah mengirim bahwa karena saya bisa berbicara dalam bahasa Indonesia, dan aku mempunyai blog, aku seharusnya menulis tulisan untuk blog itu dalam bahasa ini. Wah! Ide baik, ya? Ya.
Ada banyak yang aku bisa menulis di sini, tetapi aku tidak akan menulis itu karena kebanyakan orang yang akan membaca tulisanku juga tidak bisa mengerti kata-kata ini, sehingga, tidak ada informasi penting dalam blog ini. Aku kira bahwa kalau saya berkata nama seorang yang akan membaca ini, misalnya Ben, Emily atau Kyla (dll.) dia mungkin mau tahu apakah yang ditulis oleh penulis tulisan ini.
Ada nama lain yang saya juga bisa mengunakan, yaitu nama seperti Lauren. Lucu, ya, karena orang-orang yang disebut tidak tahu apakah yang ditulis tentang mereka. Lucu, atau tidak lucu? Aku kurang pasti.
Aku seharusnya tidak terus dengan ini, karena aku tahu bahwa ada banyak orang yang tidak bisa membaca ini. Maaf tentang post ini. Mungkin kamu kira bahwa ini nggak baik? Aku nggak tahu. Aku kira bahwa ini menarik sekali, karena ini dalam bahasa yang tidak bahasa Inggris.
Akhiran.
Hormat Saya.
Jono.
Aku sudah mengirim bahwa karena saya bisa berbicara dalam bahasa Indonesia, dan aku mempunyai blog, aku seharusnya menulis tulisan untuk blog itu dalam bahasa ini. Wah! Ide baik, ya? Ya.
Ada banyak yang aku bisa menulis di sini, tetapi aku tidak akan menulis itu karena kebanyakan orang yang akan membaca tulisanku juga tidak bisa mengerti kata-kata ini, sehingga, tidak ada informasi penting dalam blog ini. Aku kira bahwa kalau saya berkata nama seorang yang akan membaca ini, misalnya Ben, Emily atau Kyla (dll.) dia mungkin mau tahu apakah yang ditulis oleh penulis tulisan ini.
Ada nama lain yang saya juga bisa mengunakan, yaitu nama seperti Lauren. Lucu, ya, karena orang-orang yang disebut tidak tahu apakah yang ditulis tentang mereka. Lucu, atau tidak lucu? Aku kurang pasti.
Aku seharusnya tidak terus dengan ini, karena aku tahu bahwa ada banyak orang yang tidak bisa membaca ini. Maaf tentang post ini. Mungkin kamu kira bahwa ini nggak baik? Aku nggak tahu. Aku kira bahwa ini menarik sekali, karena ini dalam bahasa yang tidak bahasa Inggris.
Akhiran.
Hormat Saya.
Jono.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Google Failing to Meet Expectations
What a dissapointment. Google really is not all it's cracked up to be. It didn't even have the decency to give my question a response. A simple "no" would have sufficed.Tuesday, July 17, 2007
SDM
SDM has finally arrived, yes. For all those who don't know what it is, you should find out! Right now! Now now now now now now now now now.
But first, I will tell you what it is. Basically, it is a serial drama, much like the sort of serial drama we would perform at McCrae Beach Mission, but it is not at beach mission, not in summer, and it is a movie! So each episode is like anotehr installment of the serial drama. SDM = Serial Drama Movie. Yes. Awesome. Follow link.
Serial Drama Movie!
Link = serialdrama.com save it as one ofyour favourites now.
But first, I will tell you what it is. Basically, it is a serial drama, much like the sort of serial drama we would perform at McCrae Beach Mission, but it is not at beach mission, not in summer, and it is a movie! So each episode is like anotehr installment of the serial drama. SDM = Serial Drama Movie. Yes. Awesome. Follow link.
Serial Drama Movie!
Link = serialdrama.com save it as one ofyour favourites now.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Mineswept
Yes, I have finally done it. Minesweper has been defeated by the almighty me. Haha! I am the winner. Now, all I have to focus my eforts on is doing the same thing, but faster. I may be slow at the moment, but that was because I was being incredably careful, making sure I actually finished the whole thing. It indeed feels so good to see that little yellow face with sunglasses on, after so much work. I am so happy. I will go off into the world and rejoice now. Awesome.
This may be the end of my Minesweeper blog saga, unless I manage to get any sort of ridiculous fast time is is worthy of being blogged about.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Alfragooglewak
Once there was a person.
His name was Alfragooglewak.
He didn't like to eat cheese.
And he didn't give any cheese back.
"Save me", "Save me",
The woodpecker cried.
But it was not the Alfragooglewak,
That man had died.
Evidently, Alfragooglewak was dead,
so the whole world went sad.
But then he came back as a bear,
so the whole world went mad.
After many events had happened,
Alfragooglewak fell in love.
And remember, he was a bear,
but he fell in love with a dove.
The dove looked at him, and said:
"Look, I don't know what to say."
Because it didn't know what to do,
given that it was really only yesterday.
And Alfragooglewak never said how he felt,
because he didn't listen to what the glove said.
He was going to eat a bannana tomorrow,
But, remember, Alfragooglewak was dead.
His name was Alfragooglewak.
He didn't like to eat cheese.
And he didn't give any cheese back.
"Save me", "Save me",
The woodpecker cried.
But it was not the Alfragooglewak,
That man had died.
Evidently, Alfragooglewak was dead,
so the whole world went sad.
But then he came back as a bear,
so the whole world went mad.
After many events had happened,
Alfragooglewak fell in love.
And remember, he was a bear,
but he fell in love with a dove.
The dove looked at him, and said:
"Look, I don't know what to say."
Because it didn't know what to do,
given that it was really only yesterday.
And Alfragooglewak never said how he felt,
because he didn't listen to what the glove said.
He was going to eat a bannana tomorrow,
But, remember, Alfragooglewak was dead.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Failing Minesweeper
I have been trying really hard to win a minesweeper game in Expert. But I have been doing poorly. Why is this? Because I am bad at it? No. Because it is bad at me. Above I have included a picture of what an average game of Minesweeper looks like when I play it on Expert. See, how unfair is that! One day, I will finish Expert. Then I will be the champion of everything. Yesss!
Or maybe just the champion of Minesweeper. Even then, probably not. Oh well. I will try, nevertheless.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Minesweeper Mastery
Inspired by a post from Matt Water's blog, I decided to master the game of minesweeper. And I was sucsessful. On only my fifth try, I managed to completely finish the whole game in less than a minute. I truely am a champion at this.
So, think you can beat me? You're wrong. I am the champion. I did it so fast I don't think anybody could ever beat me. I did it so fast that you couldn't even see me, that's how fast I finished this game of minesweeper.
If you wish to congradulate me in person, that's ok, in fact, it's a very good idea. One day, I will try and finish it on a setting harder than begginer.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Dr Zaius
I have had this song stuck in my head for two days now. Do you know how annoying it is when you get a song stuck in your head for that long? Very. I thought I would share this feeling with the world by including this clip on my blog.
It's even more annoying that the song is so repedative. So I have had a short repedative song stuck in my head for two days. Otehr than that, it is one of the greatest songs ever. Listen to it. Now.
Dr Zaius Dr Zaius.
Dr Zaius Dr Zaius.
Dr Zaius Dr Zaius.
Oh, Dr Zaius.
It's even more annoying that the song is so repedative. So I have had a short repedative song stuck in my head for two days. Otehr than that, it is one of the greatest songs ever. Listen to it. Now.
Dr Zaius Dr Zaius.
Dr Zaius Dr Zaius.
Dr Zaius Dr Zaius.
Oh, Dr Zaius.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Bats, Bats, Everywhere.
In year seven, I wrote a song. During a geography class. Here are the lyrics of that song:
I remember this song well, as it was the very first song I ever wrote on my own. If you want to know how it sounds sung, you'll have to ask me to sing it. But not right now.
If you have any desire to award me something for writing this song, send me it. Now. I'll have it if it's gold. Or edible.
Bats, bats, everywhere.
Bats, bats, in my hair.
Bats, bats, all around.
Bats, bats, on the ground.
Bats, bats under my shoe.
Bats, now they look like poo.
Bats, bats for you and me.
Wee, woopee, wee woopee.
I remember this song well, as it was the very first song I ever wrote on my own. If you want to know how it sounds sung, you'll have to ask me to sing it. But not right now.
If you have any desire to award me something for writing this song, send me it. Now. I'll have it if it's gold. Or edible.
Monday, May 14, 2007
ps
Really, the only reason I began this post was to beat the current record holder for the most ps, ppss, etc. things at the end of a blog. But maybe I'll write something else here, too.
No, to be honest, I can't really think of anything else to write. This can just be a random strange blog entry. Fun! It would be really interesting, I'm thinking, if I had something decent to write. Hmm, but the more I think on it, the more I realise there is nothing. Oh well. That is all.
Jono.
ps. That is NOT all! Aha! I have now got a "ps" at the end of this blog, implying that when I said "That is all" it was, in fact, not all.
pps. Oh, yes, and I forgot to say, also that...
ppps. ...Actually I can't think pof anything to put here either. Wow, I well and truely have nothing to write about today!
pppps. I love looking at many "p"s in a row. They are kinbd of soothing.
ppppps. Not much to say here, either.
pppppps. Q: Who is better, Tinkey Winkey, Dipsey, Lala or Po?
ppppppps. A: Po is the best.
pppppppps. All telly tubbies have stupid names. Stuypid stupid stupid stupid.
ppppppppps. Except for Po. I like Po. Po is cool.
pppppppppps. There! I beat the current record. Yes, I got all the way to a "pppppppppps" at the end of this post. I am such a champion. Yay!
No, to be honest, I can't really think of anything else to write. This can just be a random strange blog entry. Fun! It would be really interesting, I'm thinking, if I had something decent to write. Hmm, but the more I think on it, the more I realise there is nothing. Oh well. That is all.
Jono.
ps. That is NOT all! Aha! I have now got a "ps" at the end of this blog, implying that when I said "That is all" it was, in fact, not all.
pps. Oh, yes, and I forgot to say, also that...
ppps. ...Actually I can't think pof anything to put here either. Wow, I well and truely have nothing to write about today!
pppps. I love looking at many "p"s in a row. They are kinbd of soothing.
ppppps. Not much to say here, either.
pppppps. Q: Who is better, Tinkey Winkey, Dipsey, Lala or Po?
ppppppps. A: Po is the best.
pppppppps. All telly tubbies have stupid names. Stuypid stupid stupid stupid.
ppppppppps. Except for Po. I like Po. Po is cool.
pppppppppps. There! I beat the current record. Yes, I got all the way to a "pppppppppps" at the end of this post. I am such a champion. Yay!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Wikipedia Race
At school, I was told of the greatest game I have heard of in a long time. It is aptly named: Wikipedia Race. This game si the greatest for playing with firends. If you ever feel like proving to somebody that you are betetr than them, play them in this game, and the better person will be decided.
"So, how does one play this 'Wikipedia race'?" you ask. Well, I say, it is quite simple. There are two versions of Wikipedia race. I will explain both below.
WIKIPEDIA RACE 1.1 (Original version)
You need at least two computers for this one, and two people, and both computers need to be linked to the internet at approximately the same speed. Ok, so, to start, all players need to visit the site:
An, unless you are otherwise inclined, select English as the lanuage, and you're in to the arena! Now, one player can search through any Wikipedia page, and select one that he/she likes. A second player, now, must also select a page. Basically, from here, all players visit the page of the first person's selection. Then it is a race to get to the page that the second person ahd selected.
But there are a few limitations to your searching ability: You cannot use anything to search except for your mouse, and the links on the specific page that you are currently viewing. There is no using of Ctrl + F or any other cheating method. Hence, you must find a link you think is appropriote, and click on it. You also cannot use anything from the Internet Explorer toolbars, e.g., there is no 'Back' allowed, or 'Forward' or 'Favourites' etc. Basically, whoever gets to the target page first wins.
WIKIPEDIA RACE 2.7 (Jono's ultra mega version for those playing at home)
Basically, you do the same as above, but instead of play with anotehr person, you can simply record the time it takes you to do a certain two pages that you havn't done before, and challene somebody else to try and match your time. Once you have tried linking two pages, you are never allowed to try and link eiterh of those two pages again, because you become too familiar with them.
You can also play against eachother over MSN. But they key part of this version is being honest. No cheating. Below are some examples of pages I have sucsessfully linked on Wikipedia. Note: you have to find the pages first, to make sure they exist. All the following combinations are possible, and each took me between 1 and 5 minutes. I would lvoe to hear how anybody went trying some of these, or versing eachother!
- "Michael Schumacher" to "Bottled Water"
- "Marvel Comics" to "Desktop Computer"
- "Samurai" to "Dux"
- "Randy Newman" to "Concrete"
Have fun Wikipediaralising!
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Conumdrum
Today, while I was contemplating how much better my lunch time at school would be if it were with a hotdog, and then this thought occured to me: A thought that I couldn't get my mind around. Now, I must post this thought, so that I can get it off my mind.
If you had a raw hotdog and a raw sausage. And you boiled the hotdog and barbecued the sausage, life would be normal, right? That's how life has existed until now.
BUT, what if you boiled the SAUSAGE and cooked the HOTDOG on the barbecue? Would the world implode? Probably. But assuming that it didn't implode, what would be the outcome?
Would the hotdog be just like a sausage in bread, and would the sausage that had been boiled taste like a hotdog should? Or would the hotdog still taste like a normal hotdog, and the sausage just taste like a wet sausage? And am I confusing myself? Answer to last question: No.
Maybe I shall investigate this. But it also beggs the question: Are raw hotdogs the same as raw sausages, but without the same skin? Hmmm.
I don't know I don't know I don't know.
Also, what is better, a hotdog or a sausage? Some feedback on this question, also, could be useful. Not that it makes a diference to anything said above. Or anything else in life, for that matter.
End of post.
If you had a raw hotdog and a raw sausage. And you boiled the hotdog and barbecued the sausage, life would be normal, right? That's how life has existed until now.
BUT, what if you boiled the SAUSAGE and cooked the HOTDOG on the barbecue? Would the world implode? Probably. But assuming that it didn't implode, what would be the outcome?
Would the hotdog be just like a sausage in bread, and would the sausage that had been boiled taste like a hotdog should? Or would the hotdog still taste like a normal hotdog, and the sausage just taste like a wet sausage? And am I confusing myself? Answer to last question: No.
Maybe I shall investigate this. But it also beggs the question: Are raw hotdogs the same as raw sausages, but without the same skin? Hmmm.
I don't know I don't know I don't know.
Also, what is better, a hotdog or a sausage? Some feedback on this question, also, could be useful. Not that it makes a diference to anything said above. Or anything else in life, for that matter.
End of post.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
How well do you know Jono?
How well do you know Jono? I Know him quite well. And BAM! I also know why! Because he is me. Here is a test to see how much YOU know me. Take down your answers, and check the comments for the results. Then comment, and tell me what you got! Not cheating. Here is test.
Q1: What is my middle name?
A: Courtney
B: Ashleigh
C: Brianna
D: Lindsey
Q2: What is my favourite colour?
A: Orange
B: Silver
C: Magenta
D: Cyan
Q3: I go to which school?
A: A stupid school with hardly any Asians.
B: A smart school with hardly any non-Asians.
C: A mildly interesting school full of fish.
D: A very interesting school not full of fish.
Q4: If I could only have one of the following, which would I have?
A: A cardboard box.
B: A metal box.
C: A small and relatively pathetic handbag.
D: A star picket.
Q5: If I had to listen to music from a solo instrument for an hour, what instrument would I want to listen to?
A: A Piano.
B: A Saxophone.
C: An Ocarina.
D: A Guitar.
Q6: Carcinogenic means:
A: Slightly more likely to give you cancer.
B: Not vaguely unlikely to not give you no canncer.
C: Highly likely to most unlikely cause a consolidation response.
D: Not likely to give you an unlikely chance of not getting no cancer.
Q7: 62+74=
A: Not telling.
B: Window.
C: 58.
D: Not likely to give you an unlikely chance of not getting no cancer.
Q8: Wimsey, my teddy, has how many olympic gold medals?
A: None, but he has 28 silver ones.
B: 28, 000, 000
C: 28, 000, 000, 000, 000 (twenty eight billion)
D: 28 x 10^28, 000, 000, 000, 000
Q9: In Europe, my name means:
A; ,Best
B; Doubleplusgood"
C- $pontaneously predictable
D: Grammatically Correct Man.
Q10: Obscillitron.
A: No way!
B: Butterfly.
C: Aku tidak bisa jawab pertanyaan ini.
D: Save as draft.
Aha! How do you think you went? I bet I beat you at betting that i didn't not make the mistake of failing to not beat you.
Q1: What is my middle name?
A: Courtney
B: Ashleigh
C: Brianna
D: Lindsey
Q2: What is my favourite colour?
A: Orange
B: Silver
C: Magenta
D: Cyan
Q3: I go to which school?
A: A stupid school with hardly any Asians.
B: A smart school with hardly any non-Asians.
C: A mildly interesting school full of fish.
D: A very interesting school not full of fish.
Q4: If I could only have one of the following, which would I have?
A: A cardboard box.
B: A metal box.
C: A small and relatively pathetic handbag.
D: A star picket.
Q5: If I had to listen to music from a solo instrument for an hour, what instrument would I want to listen to?
A: A Piano.
B: A Saxophone.
C: An Ocarina.
D: A Guitar.
Q6: Carcinogenic means:
A: Slightly more likely to give you cancer.
B: Not vaguely unlikely to not give you no canncer.
C: Highly likely to most unlikely cause a consolidation response.
D: Not likely to give you an unlikely chance of not getting no cancer.
Q7: 62+74=
A: Not telling.
B: Window.
C: 58.
D: Not likely to give you an unlikely chance of not getting no cancer.
Q8: Wimsey, my teddy, has how many olympic gold medals?
A: None, but he has 28 silver ones.
B: 28, 000, 000
C: 28, 000, 000, 000, 000 (twenty eight billion)
D: 28 x 10^28, 000, 000, 000, 000
Q9: In Europe, my name means:
A; ,Best
B; Doubleplusgood"
C- $pontaneously predictable
D: Grammatically Correct Man.
Q10: Obscillitron.
A: No way!
B: Butterfly.
C: Aku tidak bisa jawab pertanyaan ini.
D: Save as draft.
Aha! How do you think you went? I bet I beat you at betting that i didn't not make the mistake of failing to not beat you.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Dear Cupholder...
Cuppy!
Havn't seen you in ages! We really need to catch up some time. I've missed you so much. By that I mean sooooooo much, like a twelve year old girl would write if she was typing this letter. Sorry, my mistake, she would write it like this: Soo0O0Oo()o$@@*^00ooOO \/uC]-[! It really annoys me when people type like that. Good think you don't my oh-so-perfect cupholder of mine.
When we talk, I feel so relaxed and certain of myself. You never tell me that I'm mean, or that I talk too much, and you never complain about me when I don't talk very much, when I let you do all the talking. But even then, you just wait and listen, because you are so patient. When I get angry, and break you, and put mean drinks in you like acid in a spiky cup, you just tolerate it, and never get angry. What would I do without a friend like you? That rhymed. I am the best rhymer in the world.
Cupholder, I hope we can stay friends forever. You are such a good friend. You never yell. You never spit. (Except for that one time...) You never cry on my shoulder. You never cheer me up. Wait, you never do anything at all! You're a bad friend. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. I don't liek you. I hate you! I never want to see you again. Let's break up! No, I don't want to be friends anymore!
Yours sincerely,
The Windscreen.
Havn't seen you in ages! We really need to catch up some time. I've missed you so much. By that I mean sooooooo much, like a twelve year old girl would write if she was typing this letter. Sorry, my mistake, she would write it like this: Soo0O0Oo()o$@@*^00ooOO \/uC]-[! It really annoys me when people type like that. Good think you don't my oh-so-perfect cupholder of mine.
When we talk, I feel so relaxed and certain of myself. You never tell me that I'm mean, or that I talk too much, and you never complain about me when I don't talk very much, when I let you do all the talking. But even then, you just wait and listen, because you are so patient. When I get angry, and break you, and put mean drinks in you like acid in a spiky cup, you just tolerate it, and never get angry. What would I do without a friend like you? That rhymed. I am the best rhymer in the world.
Cupholder, I hope we can stay friends forever. You are such a good friend. You never yell. You never spit. (Except for that one time...) You never cry on my shoulder. You never cheer me up. Wait, you never do anything at all! You're a bad friend. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. I don't liek you. I hate you! I never want to see you again. Let's break up! No, I don't want to be friends anymore!
Yours sincerely,
The Windscreen.
Monday, March 19, 2007
25 fun things to do on a train
These things need to be done on a connex train in Melbourne. Otherwise they are not as fun. And if you read this, you have to do what it says next time you are on a train.
1- Sit next to somebody, and whisper in another language into their ear.
2- Stare directly at someone, and keep a straight face. After they've noticed that you're looking at them, wait a while, and then point.
3- Jump continuously, and pretend that you aren't.
4- When there are clearly enough seats, sit on someone's lap.
5- If sombody is eating chips, help yourself to one.
6- Hold a random person's hand.
7- Make it really obvious that you're reading sombody else's newspaper over their shoulder.
8- Sing to the beeping of the doors when they close.
9- Try and clear a dance circle in the middle of the standing area.
10- Protect the disabled seat from normal passengers, even when there is no disabled people on the train.
11- Actually water somebody's garden, and claim that you no longer have to pay your way and buy a ticket.
12- Buy two tickets and put your feet on the opposite seat.
13- Buy six tickets, and set up a tent over six seats.
14- Buy ninety tickets, and have a party in one of the carriages.
15- laugh really loudly. When somebody turns to look at you, look away quickly and stop laughing.
16- When people get on the train, welcome them with a handshake and a hug.
17- When people get off, cry and say you'll see them again... Someday.
18- Ask people about the book they're reading.
19- Ask people if you can borrow the book they're reading.
20- Pretend the floor is lava.
21- When you get on, run for a seat, while making rushing wind noises with your mouth.
22- Pat somebody on the head and say: "Good boy!"
23- Practice your magic on an unsuspecting commuter. Get angry when you realise your powers need to be recharged.
24- Set up a stall and sell spatulas.
25- Sniff uneasially, then slowly make your way to the other end of the carriage, where your nose leads you to one man. When you're uncomfortably close to him, suddenly look away and pretend you didn't do anything, as if you only just realised what your'e doing.
1- Sit next to somebody, and whisper in another language into their ear.
2- Stare directly at someone, and keep a straight face. After they've noticed that you're looking at them, wait a while, and then point.
3- Jump continuously, and pretend that you aren't.
4- When there are clearly enough seats, sit on someone's lap.
5- If sombody is eating chips, help yourself to one.
6- Hold a random person's hand.
7- Make it really obvious that you're reading sombody else's newspaper over their shoulder.
8- Sing to the beeping of the doors when they close.
9- Try and clear a dance circle in the middle of the standing area.
10- Protect the disabled seat from normal passengers, even when there is no disabled people on the train.
11- Actually water somebody's garden, and claim that you no longer have to pay your way and buy a ticket.
12- Buy two tickets and put your feet on the opposite seat.
13- Buy six tickets, and set up a tent over six seats.
14- Buy ninety tickets, and have a party in one of the carriages.
15- laugh really loudly. When somebody turns to look at you, look away quickly and stop laughing.
16- When people get on the train, welcome them with a handshake and a hug.
17- When people get off, cry and say you'll see them again... Someday.
18- Ask people about the book they're reading.
19- Ask people if you can borrow the book they're reading.
20- Pretend the floor is lava.
21- When you get on, run for a seat, while making rushing wind noises with your mouth.
22- Pat somebody on the head and say: "Good boy!"
23- Practice your magic on an unsuspecting commuter. Get angry when you realise your powers need to be recharged.
24- Set up a stall and sell spatulas.
25- Sniff uneasially, then slowly make your way to the other end of the carriage, where your nose leads you to one man. When you're uncomfortably close to him, suddenly look away and pretend you didn't do anything, as if you only just realised what your'e doing.
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