Monday, March 19, 2007

25 fun things to do on a train

These things need to be done on a connex train in Melbourne. Otherwise they are not as fun. And if you read this, you have to do what it says next time you are on a train.

1- Sit next to somebody, and whisper in another language into their ear.
2- Stare directly at someone, and keep a straight face. After they've noticed that you're looking at them, wait a while, and then point.
3- Jump continuously, and pretend that you aren't.
4- When there are clearly enough seats, sit on someone's lap.
5- If sombody is eating chips, help yourself to one.
6- Hold a random person's hand.
7- Make it really obvious that you're reading sombody else's newspaper over their shoulder.
8- Sing to the beeping of the doors when they close.
9- Try and clear a dance circle in the middle of the standing area.
10- Protect the disabled seat from normal passengers, even when there is no disabled people on the train.
11- Actually water somebody's garden, and claim that you no longer have to pay your way and buy a ticket.
12- Buy two tickets and put your feet on the opposite seat.
13- Buy six tickets, and set up a tent over six seats.
14- Buy ninety tickets, and have a party in one of the carriages.
15- laugh really loudly. When somebody turns to look at you, look away quickly and stop laughing.
16- When people get on the train, welcome them with a handshake and a hug.
17- When people get off, cry and say you'll see them again... Someday.
18- Ask people about the book they're reading.
19- Ask people if you can borrow the book they're reading.
20- Pretend the floor is lava.
21- When you get on, run for a seat, while making rushing wind noises with your mouth.
22- Pat somebody on the head and say: "Good boy!"
23- Practice your magic on an unsuspecting commuter. Get angry when you realise your powers need to be recharged.
24- Set up a stall and sell spatulas.
25- Sniff uneasially, then slowly make your way to the other end of the carriage, where your nose leads you to one man. When you're uncomfortably close to him, suddenly look away and pretend you didn't do anything, as if you only just realised what your'e doing.

3 comments:

B.C. said...

Have you done all of these things? If not. Get cracking. Take videos. Post them here.

My favourites were: 3. 9. 10 - Imagining you fighting away people. 13 - Buy six tickets. Set up a tent over six seats. Get off at the next stop. Taking your tent with you. Speed tent setting up.

Jono said...

I have done some of them. The one I want to do most, though, is sit on somebody's lap. That is my next goal. How awkward would it be if sombody just came and sat on YOUR lap?

some girl said...

Yes! I love these things!
I especially love the elevator ones. It should be a small group activity in the city with elevators and trains, yes it should.
Damn, wish I could drive.