Friday, August 24, 2007

Ventface

No, I am not going to vent about anything, here. I merely wish to discuss venting and the like.
Last week at small group, the issue of letting people know how we feel about things came up, that is, not holding feelings back, and not venting stuff. Due to confidentiality of small group, I cannot talk about anything that we said, so I will not, but the issue was one I feel that I have different opinions to most about, and I feel like sharing that now. Yes. Sharing. If you ever have a custard cake... share it. Sharing is good.
Anyway, back to the point: When people get annoyed at others, or have something they wish to say to them, or somthing that they are holding back from them etc., there are always many issues as to why they should face up to them, and confront people, but also as to why this would be not so good. I have found through experience, and thinking about it myself as well, that I, personally, would 95 times out of 100, prefer whoever had something they could possibly be holding back from me to actually confront me about that stuff. I feel that if sombody feels somthing, they will feel it whether I know they are feeling it or not, so it is better for me to know what it is they are feeling. It is not like by me ignoring thigs, they do not exist. This is a very narrow and somewhat selfsih view, in my opinion, to me, at least. If sombody has a bone to pick with me, a compliment to give me, a concern to express to me, a feeling concerning me to share, or somehting to tell me at all, I would always prefer them to tell me.
So why, then, do I not tell otehr people when I have similar thoughts and feleings that need to be expressed? This is somehting I struggle with. I think that it is because I am not sure whether other people can take that sort of thing as well as, or in the same way as I can. From xperience I have learnt that some people can definately take things the wrong way. Although there are a few people who I feel particularily close to that I know I can tell them anything, tell them off about anything, express my feelings to and slap, metaphorically, (or not) when it is needed, most people I am never sure whether they will take something the wrong way. The dilemma is left, then, of is it appropriote to say certain things at certain times? When and how can I vent to people. Is it importnat to vent to sombody separated form the scenario, if I deem it not right to confront the person just yet? I think the answer to this last question is yes. But there could also be times when that is not appropriote.
Argh! I am being very vauge and broad right now, but I don't care. It is somthing that I have just been struggling with (Not often strongly, just always a little bit, every now and then) for almost my whole life. I thought I could blog about it, though.
I am actually not frusterated or in any of these sorts of situations at the moment, though. I am actually in a state of complete happiness, except for my stupid driving lessons. I don't want to do them. They cost money. I just thought this was an issue that I could share my thoughts about, and possiblky spark some discussion. Yes, discussion. That means commenting. Comment now! But you dont have to if you don't want to. But yes, comment now. Now! BUt no, I am not pressuring at all. You are a porecious reader, and you don't need to comment. But you can if you want. There, that sounds better. Awesome.
Thankyou for reading.
Bang. I am finished.

6 comments:

Kyla said...

Hi Jono, I agree that it's difficult to know when to confront and when a confrontation will make things worse. For me, I prefer to confronted. I read a lot into what people say and do, so I like it when they're direct and honest so I don't have to read into anything.

But then, like you, I find it really hard to confront others and most of the time I don't. I think I may start to confront more, though, because a few weeks ago I confronted an awkward situation and it went very very well. I think if you trust the person and they trust you, it's ok to be honest but if not, it could make things difficult. Anyway, that is my opinion(ish).

Kyla said...

I prefer to BE confronted.. I prefer to confronted is very very bad english and makes no sense

Jono said...

Haha, I assumed that;s what you meant. Thankyou for your opinion(ish). 'Tis appreciated. I pretty much agree with everything you said.

Princess Lauren said...

On the issue of venting, I think it is best to vent to someone outside the issue, otheriwse there is a biased opinion within the issue, which may help you to sway to one side of an arguement, or blow it out of proportion.
I have always been someone that goes to one person to vent, however this year, there has been a shift, where I feel I can vent to a few people.
You have to be careful with venting as sometimes it can be damaging, it can be used as blackmail, it may burden people too much or it may be exaggerated.
I think venting is very important, as you shouldn't keep feelings bottled up inside.
There are all the Lauren Opinions, enjoy.
xox

Em said...

I avoid confrontation usually. But to be honest I like confrontation and conflict as long as it doesn't put me in an awkward position, but this doesn't mean that I seek conflict, it's just interesting.
Anyway.

I avoid it so much that when I do confront people they think I'm attacking them and start getting all defensive which is very frustrating.

Interesting note: Glenda's cat is named Princess Lauren.

Jono said...

Wow, Glenda has one awesome cat. Thankyou for your opinions, Lauren, being careful where you vent is important, although I also feel it is important to be careful about where you don't vent or confront stuff, when it could be beneficial to do so.
And Emily, I also hate it when peole think you are attacking them. Annoying.