I was discussing with a friend the other day about relationships and stuff. By "and stuff" I do mean many other things, but I won't go into those just here. Anyway, we were talking mostly about romantic relationships, and not so much friend relationships. I won't say what we talked about either, that is just stupid and breaching privacy laws. Yes, there are laws against that. Just like there are laws forbidding anybody from saying that Jono is not awesome. So anyway, I won't talk about what we discussed, but it all did bring up a few issues that I think I will discuss here.
First of all, for anybody reading this who doesn't know, I've never had a "girlfriend" as such, so I don't have much experience in that sort of area, although I have had many experiences of people liking me, or me liking other people. Yes, so has everybody, I know. And from these experiences I have come to get really annoyed at how it all works. I hate the way that if you like sombody, and they like you, nobody says anything, and I hate the way if sombody likes sombody else, and the other does not, then the one that likes the other one never realsies that the perosn they like does not have equivalant feelings in return. And thirdly, I hate it how if one person likes another, and the other does not reciprocate that feeling, then the one that likes the other in the first place cannot easially find out whether there is any possibility there.
There are many more things on the topic that annoy me. Everything annoys me. I get annoyed at everything all the time. Annoyed annoyed annoyed annoyed annoyed. In conclusion to all this ranting, I have come up with one solution, though, and that is that if everybody said exactl;y how they felt, then all this stuff would e so much easier. No hiding anything form anybody. But would that just make the world implode on itself? Yes, probably.
Ah, I actually started off this post with something good in mind to rant/talk about, but as I wrote I just completely forgot what it was, and I got sidetracked. Annoying. Annoyed annoyed anoyed annoyed annoyed.
One day I will actually think about what I am going to write before just going and doing it, and making up lots of stuff on the way. Like Ben Chong. I heard a rumour he actually writes drafts for hs posts every now and then. Wow! I just type as fast as my fingers will let me so that I look like a pro typer in this library I'm using. Ha! Not really. I just like typing fast. It is fun. Fun fun fun fun fun. Or is it? You decide.
Actually, I draft many posts, also, except that as soon as I draft something, I never end up publishing it proporly, or working out why it is I didn't publish it in the first place. This is an example of a post I would usually save as a draft, and not publish, but I will publish it this time. It is no where near as bad/controversial as many of the other ones I have locked away as drafts, never to be seen again.
There, that is the end of this Mega-Post. I hope it was not too boring/uninteresting/not inuninteresting. I have a feeling that there are numerous spelling and typing errors on this post. I may choose to fix them up at some stage, but I probably won't be bothered.
End.
-xox-
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"It's a job that's never started that takes the longest to finish." - J. R. R. Tolkien
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- Designer, Writer, Musician, Secret Agent. Jono is probably your best friend, and if he's not, he probably should be.
15 comments:
Jono I understand this. It's time to make those signs: "I like you", "I don't like you", "Maybe". Then only will I talk to you.
It's tricky all that liking business. But it doesn't pay to get caught up in thoughts and what if's either. I used to do that a lot.
HA! Honoured you mentioned me. I don't really think about it, unless some sort of inspiration hits me. And yes... DRAFTS! If there is something important I want to write, and am not sure how to do it, I'll draft and edit it a few times.
On your one year... blogiversary (shotgun rights to that word haha but i'm prepared to share), you should publish some of the drafts. finished or not.
Awesome.
WOAH! THAT POST WAS AT 1:11 PM! AWESOME!
AND SO WAS THAT ONE!
Jono. I agree and also do not. I wish that the world worked like that and you could just know who liked who and it wouldnt be awkward. Unfortunately it does not work. If I went and told him I liked him, things would change. Which is bad. It would be easier for things to just be OK. Also, I wish guys would gossip more so you could find out if you have a chance. You can always find out who a girl likes. Not so with guys. But anyway, I can rant about this for a long time so I shall shut up now.
Never. Gossip is evil and I always feel bad if I am engaged in it. And if girls are gossiping involving me? Very awkward and I'd respect them more if they just talked to me instead of about me with their girlfriends.
In a perfect world this would happen. A lot of people would benefit from this sentiment, however as Kyla said it is never possible. Gossiping is bad, I hate being involved in it.
All the awkwardness with people liking one another is insane and I wish that sometimes it just wasn't there. People should approach the person quicker sooner than later, therefore it gets everything up in the air.
In saying all of this, I am terrible with approaching people about my inner feelings and it rarely happens.
Relationships are so difficult and can quite often end up very messed up. Try and eleviate unnecessary awkwardness and approach people. I have been trying to do this lately and it seems to be working.
Ok, so this an issue that i have been thinking a lot about lately. And that is just it, that is the side i have taken. I'll explain. There are two paths you can take when you have feelings for someone, think about it a lot and play out senarios etc. or you can just go with your heart.
Positives & Negatives of 'from the heart'-
So usually your heart just wants to come right out to the person and tell them how you feel. Why is this good? Well it first takes some stress off you, you are almost taking any decission to now be made off you and onto them. over the years people have said that just 'getting it out there' has helped them let go of the person. It is all good to have some sense of freedom after telling the person, but then comes the consequences of your action. Say they dont feel the same. Where does this leave you with them? There is always going to be awkwardness between the two of you now. Neither of you will want it, but it will be there for a long time even if all the feelings leave you. I feel that if you truely have feelings for someone, this result of there being awkwardness would hurt me even more because of the thought of not being able to talk to them on certain levels. But still, after all that, after not telling them and your feelings just building and building, them possibly not having anything for you in return, isn't that maybe more destructive?
Positives & Negatives of 'thinking'-
For me, thinking hurts. When you think about things you way up possibilities and in many cases try and persuade your heart out of the feelings it has. This is a very painful thing to do. The heart has a very strong hold on you and for that to be pulled off, its going to hurt. But if you dont think you can do something you'll regret. The heart is stupid. rushing things can lead to more pain for the both of you. So the issue is being able to discern what will hurt the relationship. Some things are a given but others arn't.
I think in every beginning of a relationship there is either too much heart or too much thinking. But that is interesting in itself because to me it shows that there will never be control and that is just how relationships work.
Its funny though how sometimes the most painful relationships at the start are the ones that turn out to be the great ones.
Please fight me on some of these, i could be thinking about it too much. ha. But just looking at things this way has helped me with some things. I have no control, so why strive for it?
'Dont strive to find the perfect person, but to love the imperfect person perfectly'
I'm so tired at the moment. oh America. Love you all. Topher.
I feel I should clarify what I meant by gossip. I just meant it would be easier if guys told their friends who they liked. That is all. I didn't mean gossip in any other sense, like bitching or anything... Probably should have used a different word!
Other than that, liking people is very confusing and a lot of effort, and it would be a lt easier if it was a choice... I know for some people it is a choice, but ive never found that. Hmm... confusing.
All are good points. Yes. I can see truth in what everybody says. But it is still always hard. It's very easy to think that it would be easy just to say stuff, but it is not.
BEN - Blogiversary. Definately will publsih some drafts. BUt some of them are possibly offensive and what not. We'll see.
KYLA - Yes, gossip in some senses is bad, and I do not like it. But if you are referring to gossip as in just talking about stuff and news without any form of bitching and talking about people behind their backs, then it's ok. News is good. I wish I knew more news.
Also, did you now that the word news comes from "North-East-West-South". Meaning, if you have news about something happening in America, just say, it's not news at all, but just "new", becasue there is nothing south at all about America. Unless you're in Canada. Then it would be "Ews". Wow, I want to go to Canada just so I can say I heard some ews from America.
I agree with the whole blog.
I've also never had a 'boyfriend' although have had instances of them liking me, or vice versa. I've never told a person if I liked them though. The awkwardness that comes from these situations is the kind of awkwardness I hate. It has potentially ruined some great relationships in my life, some that I'll probably never get to repair which is very saddening to me.
I have tried to work at this... but it's hard.
As Chris (I don't know you) said, the awkwardness is there for a long time, even after the feelings have gone. True, for my part.
One thing I have learned along the years is that it's stupid to 'like' someone if you don't 'control' it.
In that all you can think about is that person, and you make decisions (sometimes big decisions) based on what that person would think or do. It often makes you feel like crap because you hold that person in such high esteem and feel like you'll never measure up to them.
Anyway. That's my... 5 five cents... because it's worth more than two cents.
P.S. You have to post those posts. Stuff it if they're controversial or whatnot, I like controversy. You get lots of comments like this post :P
okay. i admit i read about one of the comments, and then decided not to read them until after i post my opinion on the matter in case i change my point of view without realising.
i like the idea of just coming out and telling people how you feel. i have had so many situations where i have found out someone liked me AFTER the fact that i had liked them, but had ceased liking them when they told me. It aggravated me that we actually could have had something like i had hoped at the time, but they were just too stupid to admit their feelings. im a bit of a hypocrit though, i dont tell people.. i have once. it turned out well.. but i can say, from experience it doesnt always.
there have been so many awkward situations where a boy has told me they liked me and i have had to tell them i dont feel the same. Although i sit here and say "they should tell me in case i like them", what if i do not like them?
Personally, the only reason this situation is awkward for me, is because i feel for them. I dont like rejection, and i hate to be the person doing it, and i think if tehre was like some unwritten fundamental rule you had to tell the person you like that you like them, then the world, and peoples friendships and relationships would in fact.. implode.
THE. END.
i strongly think crashers are very over rated, adn yet we live in this day and age that young woman are becoming over the hole crash thing just jumping into what ever relationship without no thought involved just for the sake of haveing what they call a boy friend...its all booness, i feel if you really like some one go ahead and tell them instead of wasting so much time and thought on them, if they dont feel the same way about u...u never know what could come out of it if you do tell them...what is the worst that could happen....nothing, embrassement..whats that these days..? stars these days seem to get away with peeing there pants..so what could be worst telling some one u like them...or just doing stupid stuff to hang aroudn them, or get them to tlak to u, or send messages, when in fact u are wasting ur credit to some one who does not care the way u care...hmmm..it is a tough world out there..and in facted who needs a boy friend, at moments in your life or girl friend, god has it planned he will put the "one" in ur life when u are ready...so i think we should all focus on the fact that god did all create us with some one else in mind for us to have in marriage...
xo hannah
Wow! So many comments, and long ones at that! Thankyou all for your generous input. I have read and thought about every comment.
Awesome.
Awe-lots even!
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